Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Good synthesizer manufacturer slogans SATIRE



If synthesizer manufacturers would come up with realistic, honest corporate slogans, they might sound like this.

Rhys Hughes:

Moog - we now do 2 notes.

Roland - we are powered by impotent rage of analogue purists

Nord - building the same synth for 20 years

Yamaha - as seen on cruise ships around the world

Akai - *distant sound of landfill*
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Steven Edward Streight:

Casio - Just add some guitar effects boxes to sound good.

Korg - From little Monotron to big Kronos and everything in between including kaoss pads.

Behringer - Still ripping off other manufacturers and getting away with it.

Elektron - Once you get used to the work flow, you might like it.

Pittsburgh Modular Synthesizers - Figure it out, you pussy.

Trogotronic - Ugly noise to scare the shit out of those DX7 sissies.

Dave Smith Instruments - Still innovative after inventing MIDI. Sorry about the weird Evolver interface!

Arturia - Stop saying our drums aren't 808s.

Critter & Guitari - How weird can we get?

Folktek - We just got even weirder.

Dreadbox - Spooky names to scare the crybabies at Synthesizer Freaks.

Kurzweil - How many pianos do you want today?

Novation - We do pretty lights better than anybody.

Bastl Instruments - Stranger than most, sturdier than some.

Buchla - West Coast experimental is going to cost you.

Abstrakt Instruments - How many analog basslines do you want today?

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