Monday, June 2, 2008

7 reasons NOT to Twitter

(1) Narcissistic:

You hate seeing your message get shoved down by the relentless and rapid addition of other messages ("tweets") by other people. You're used to publishing a blog post, with comments added below it. You're only comfortable with piling new posts on top of old posts, all written by you.

(2) Message Speed:

The message flow of Twitter is just too fast, you can't keep up with that rushing river of brevities. You prefer the antiquated "slomo blogs" and their leisurely pace.

(3) Reply Velocity:

You find it unsettling that your message got replies so quickly. You're hurt by the fact that you were unable to respond in a timely manner. You can't think that fast. Blogocombat on Twitter freaks you out because the attacks and defenses are so unexpected, swift, and brutal.

(4) Message Brevity:

You like to jabber on and on about stuff, but here you're limited to 140 characters per message. You find it annoying to post several short messages, just to fully develop your communication. Pithy statements and concise writing are not your thing. You're more prolix, and you don't care to learn the marketable skill of condensed idea formulation.

(5) Message Anonymity:

You're an A List blogger, with an elite blogroll and hundreds of comments on every post, but on Twitter, you're just an avatar like everybody else. You dislike the fact that Twitter is an even playing field, with the tweets of celebrities carrying no more weight than a tweet from some obscure loser, like Vaspers, for example.

(6) Addictivity Dangers:

You've heard about the poor geeks who got hooked on Twitter. You've heard Twitter called "the crack of microblogging". You fear you'll become another degenerate Twitter junkie who sits at the computer all day and all night, Twittering about sandwiches, airports, and technology conferences.

(7) Promotional Lethargy:

You don't really have any relevant links to share with anybody on Twitter. You have products to sell, but no news or educational information to provide. You want to make money, not friends. You don't really care about online communities or how to promote your company's expertise and credibility to them.

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