Saturday, November 29, 2008

creative MySpace Music bios

There's so much, arguably too much, music. You don't have time to listen to all the good music in any genre and sub-specialty that turns you on. So how does your band stand out from the millions of other identical groups?

Have a creative MySpace Music bio/about.

Here are some real examples for you to slavishly imitate or surpass:

Retarded Muppit Farm

Billy Sr. and Billy Jr., The boys in Retarded Muppit Farm (RMF), are both ordained ministers who met during a hang gliding day-camp in 2005.

They discovered they both had horrific scars all over their bodies, and quickly bonded as friends. What started out as a series of nightly impromptu campfire sing-alongs steadily progressed into the studio, where the dynamic duo produced their first album in 2007, entitled "Special Fantasies II: Return to Paradise". This was promptly followed later in the year by college radio breakthrough LP "Mr. Feely Pants".

The two then took a two month break and went to feed hungry animals in Africa. When they returned to the states, they immediately whipped out the vocals-only experimental EP "Not Fun". Their most recent offering, "MANSOUND", is a tour-de-force of singsong vocals, squlching synths, and gut-busting beats. Rumor has it, "MANSOUND" is currently Dick Clark's favorite record in the last 30 years. RMF continues to write, record, and perform in and around California.

Currently, their albums can only be purchased at Sacramento record stores The Beat, R5 Records, online at Snocap music and, naturally, at RMF shows. RMF is currenly working on a follow up to ManSound, which is reported to have a "heavy country music influence".

Bad Bus

the po pho says: "Bad Bus was chaotic and out-of-place in just the right way. Gotta love a dumbfounded crowd. I felt like I was in Bad Bus. I’m standing out back and the next thing I know Ian Paige is sitting on the bar hollering through megaphones in my ear."

Velvet Davenport

About Velvet Davenport

Happy Ending Happy ending Happy ENDING happy ending Happy ending happy Ending Happy Ending Happy ending Happy ENDING happy ending Happy ending happy Ending Happy Ending Happy ending Happy ENDING happy ending Happy ending happy Ending Happy Ending Happy ending Happy ENDING happy ending Happy ending happy EndingHappy Ending Happy ending Happy ENDING happy ending Happy ending happy EndingHappy Ending Happy ending Happy ENDING happy ending Happy ending happy EndingHappy Ending Happy ending Happy ENDING happy ending Happy ending happy EndingHappy Ending Happy ending Happy ENDING happy ending Happy ending happy Ending

Funky Panda Love Train

We came on a train, from Planet Funk. We've come all this way, to make funky love to you. We've come all this way, now you will surely come too. We're gonna get between every Earthling leg, every punk kid, and every old hag, You're gonna orgasm 'til you start to gag. We're gonna FUNKIFY the human race by getting inside every orifice. Now we're going down on you, from OUTER SPACE.

Psychedelic Horseshit

About psychedelic horseshit

I never thought I would find the courage to disgrace a complete scene of music, but shitgaze really is abysmal. Another of these silhouettes of shite is ’Psychedelic Horseshit’, I mean seriously which member of the band was drunk when that name was conjured up. ’New Wave Hippies’ sounds like a toddler playing with something that has thousands of buttons. The guitars are scratchy, and deliberately out of tune.

It’s almost as if this band has gone out of its way to completely undermine every musical convention every proposed. This band is either a load of idiots on speed who suddenly thought they could play music while tripping, and sounds like a very massive pile of utter drunken shit, or it’s just some very clever chimpanzee’s who’ve evolved and suddenly realise they ’might’ be able to play some music.

In one song, ’Bad Vibrations’ the vocalist literally says over and over again ’ahhoooowaaaooo oooo oooo oooooooo’.

I’ve actually given up on summing up this utterly pointless way of life. I would rather shave all of the hair off on my body and commit myself to a life of celibacy and become a neo-Nazi. My flat mate has put this review out of its misery and very kindly summed up this entire music scene in two words, ’utter bollocks’.

The Method Actors

About The Method Actors

Here's What They Are Saying About The Method Actors:

"Working with the most basic instrumentation imaginable, the Method Actors is able to make the combination musical...the guitar makes deft use of chords with moving inner voices and meshes beautifully with the drumming."
~ Robert Palmer, New York Times

[Little Figures] is the best album of the year, fashioned from manic, maverick maneuvers and displays a pop sense that sets heads spinning. The Method Actors achieved an uncanny ability to imbue arbitrary squibs of noise and staggering meter with an alluring sense of shape."
~ Sound

"Their version of "All Tomorrow's Parties" is one of the 10 best New Wave cover songs ever...Countless bands have listened to, covered, imitated and assimilated the work of the Velvet Underground, but it took the Method Actors to capture their spirit."
~ Spin

"Far from being restricted by their lack of personnel, they flaunt the kind of freedom which gives full reign to their extremely angular, passionate approach. Devoid of derivatives, this week's best single proves that far from the Big City Kultural quicksands, some of the most challenging music is conceived free of destructive influences for no other reason than the music itself." [On debut single "This Is It" being awarded Single of the Week]
~ Roy Carr, New Music Express, [London]

"Take a young Jeff Chandler and Jack Nicholson and make a band."
~ Time Out

"...riveting psycho-Ramones drive heightened by choogling guitar and the pair's vocals, one a droll sing-speak, the other a madhouse wail..."
~ The New Trouser Press

"The Music of phsychedelic despair."
~ Tip, Berlin

"...more interesting than Pylon..."
~ New York Times

"The most pretentious band since creation."
~University of Georgia's Red and Black

The Bambourines

About The Bambourines

there's no time to constrain us. We don't have bodies to contain us.

Chocolate USA

Chocolate USA was Julian Koster's (Neutral Milk Hotel, The Music Tapes) first band. It was formed in 1989, under the original name of Miss America, and consisted of Julian (vocals, guitars, songwriting etc), Liza Wakeman (violin) and drummer Keith Block. The band ran the "Chocolatey Good Smash Hit Of The Month Club" for several years, which was a monthly tape club in which members got a new lo-fi tape of songs and stories. The first proper release was a small, quickly sold out self-released cassette called All Jets Are Gonna Fall Today.

The Miss America Pageant took umbrage at the name of the band, and so Miss America became Chocolate USA. In late 1992, Bar/None Records put out a single (100 Feet Tall/Skateboard Heaven) and re-released the band's All Jets Are Gonna Fall Today album to a wider audience.

The same label also released the band's second album, Smoke Machine, in 1994. There were some personnel changes for it: Keith Block drummed on a couple of the tracks, but the remainder was taken over by Eric Harris (later of The Olivia Tremor Control). Bill Doss (The Olivia Tremor Control, Sunshine Fix) also played on the album.

After this second CD, the band called it a day. Liza formed her own band, Alva. Eric joined The Olivia Tremor Control with Bill. Julian joined Neutral Milk Hotel and also began The Music Tapes.

Gregory Jacobsen

About me:

Sad Sourkraut, Sad Cucumber

HIYA! My name is Gregory Jacobsen.

I am a chubby little man, my hands in my pockets. On all fours, I hide in a nearby closet. Found several hairs pasted against a jelly doughnut...punched through rapidly, hot and foamy. Flaccid copulatory attempts decimate a small peephole! Deformation occurs, structure collapse, partially decompose! BOLOGNEY IN A HOLE! BOLOGNEY IN A HOLE!

The will to fail! The will to fail!

I was born in Middlesex, New Jersey. I didn't have too many friends except for a Commodore 64 computer. I eventually befriended some "metal-heads" who would kill chickens and throw crayfish at the windshields of passing motorists. Me and my new friends would hang out in the woods and start fires. Ignited items of note: a pleather couch scribbled with Slayer logos, a headless doll with pentagram and "666" scrawled on chest, feces, an effigy of a disliked classmate composed of milk jug for head.

After being rejected from almost every art school applied to, I made a poor decision of moving to the goddamn midwest to attend the Art Institute of Chicago. Worthless degree in hand, I, much to my irritation, still reside in Chicago, where members of the populace have enormous sticks lodged in their asses.

Links Of Interest!

My website- chock full of paintings from the last five years plus other treats!

I sing and flail around in a dissonant rock & roll band called Lovely Little Girls...No-Wave Opera Theatrical Dada Aktion!
Lovely Little Girls

My MP3 blog Cake & Polka Parade where I post obscure, strange and out of print recordings focusing on avant-garde, found and outsider recordings
cake & polka parade

I do a monthly web-only radio show on WFMU where I play everything from children’s records, no-wave, noise, prog, 20th century classical avant-garde choral pieces, concrete sound poetry and weird foreign pop music.
Fatty Jubbo WFMU Playlists & Archives

I also am a contributor to WFMU’s excellent Beware Of The Blog…a companion blog to the radio station that covers every esoteric topic imaginable.
Fatty Jubbo Beware Of The Blog Posts

Who I'd like to meet:

Pretty Ladies, Muscle Men, Social Retards



Thanks for your visit!! MELT-BANANA is a band based in TOKYO JAPAN.

Nocturnal Emissions

Nocturnal Emissions is a sound art project that has released numerous records and CDs in music styles ranging from electro-acoustic, musique concrete, hybridised beats, sound collage, post-industrial music, ambient and noise music. The sound art has been part of an ongoing multimedia campaign of guerrilla sign ontology utilising video art, film, hypertext and other documents.

From early in their work, the group concentrated on the axiom of music being a form of social control, and highlighted concepts such as information overload, cult conditioning, brainwashing and subliminal advertising, in a critique of information society. Their music drew heavily on worldwide folk traditions as well as that of the European avant-garde.

4,000,000 Telephones

About 4,000,000 TELEPHONES

4,000,000 Telephones' self-titled first album is available for the first time on CD after 20 years out of circulation. The album, originally released on the band's own label, has acquired the status of a lost masterpiece, and has been re-released in response to a steady flow of requests.

Originally launching the album on their own Bunker label, the band signed to Summerhouse Records where they released two singles and a second album.

But it was their debut album that defined the Telephones' characteristic sound and built up a fanatical following for their extraordinary live shows. Their angry, angsty, half-sung and half-shouted lyrics, spliced snatches of throwaway sounds and insistent brand of hard-edged avant-garde funk were several years ahead of its time, and contemporary comparisons with groups like Chakk, 23 Skidoo and The Fall were always just a bit wide of the mark.

Touted in late 1985 in the Melody Maker as one of the bands ..most likely to.., the Telephones very nearly did, and left behind an intense emotional afterburn in all who experienced their music. Featuring six composers, two singers, a found-sound specialist and an Action Man doll, the band was always likely to self-combust and they eventually split up in the late 1980s after a spectacularly successful tour of Germany.

The band are temporarily reforming to launch the re-released album, and members Jack Rabelais, Malcolm Tent, Eg, Carl, Richard and Rick are reviving the album for performance and developing new material.

Ergo Phizmiz

Over the past seven years Ergo Phizmiz has developed a reputation as one of the most inventive and imaginative composers working in the world today. Across albums, radio-pieces, soundtracks, and installations, his work has been disseminated across the world and media to widespread acclaim. His work is marked out by a playfulness and mischievousness, coupled with an inside-out and upside-down knowledge of his medium. Although often associated with the sampling and plunderphonics movements, his music takes in a much wider scope of ideas, and can veer between 3.5 minute Dadaistic pop songs, 3.5 hour sound-collages, deranged multimedia installations, radio comedy-adventures, improvised and ambient music, solo instrumental compositions, visual collages, and text works in all sorts of contortions. Despite the breadth of his practice, the sound and spirit of the productions is always unmistakeably that of Mr Phiz.

His music has been released by many labels including Womb Records, Soleilmoon Recordings, The Wire, Vivo, Sonic Arts Network, Match My Foot, Egotwister, Sonore, and his own imprint Mukow, with forthcoming releases coming on Gagarin Records and Slag Records. His music has been performed at the Tate Modern, the Dutch Academy of Fine Art, the Royal Festival Hall, La Terra Trema Cherbourg, Kraak Festival, Worm, Extrapool, Teatru Ariel Transylvania, and Cologne Kulturbunker, and broadcast on stations including BBC Radio 1, BBC Radio 3, KunstRadio, Resonance FM, WFMU, WRFL, VPRO, WDR3, DFM, Cherryade Radio, and Channel 4 Radio. Ergo also mixes and presents a weekly radioshow 'Phuj Phactory' on New York radio station WFMU. Listen online (with a complete archive of past shows) at He has been awarded grants from Arts Council England, the PRS Foundation for New Music, and the residency scheme of the Leverhulme Trust.

Among the artists with whom Ergo has collaborated are People Like Us (with whom he released the critically lauded "Perpetuum Mobile" album on Soleilmoon, the innovative "Codpaste" podcast on WFMU, and "Rhapsody in Glue" on, David Fenech, Felix Kubin, Satanicpornocultshop, Safety Scissors, Martha Moopette, Jack Phoenix, members of The Bees, Margite Zalite, The The, Vernon Lenoir, and Irene Moon. He has composed music for films by Namaiki, Zenith Pitts, Erik Bumbledonk, Martha Moopette, and Christian Marclay.

Ergo's live performances are chaotic soundclashes of pop performance-art, and he has performed around the world to enthused audiences. One-man, a minidisc, a megaphone, some instruments, some horns, and some toys. He has performed across Europe.

Current projects include a large scale radiophonic work "The Faust Cycle" (using the Faust legend as the starting point for a radio-adventure in various dimensions and spaces), regular live performances, and a number of one-off radio works for various places and spaces. Next year will see the release of his uberpop album "Things to Do and Make" on Care in the Community Recordings.

Pearls Before Swine

The psychedelic folk band Pearls Before Swine was the brainchild of singer, composer and cult icon Tom Rapp, born in Bottineau, ND in 1947; after writing his first song at age six, he later began performing at local talent shows, and as a teen bested a young Bob Dylan at one such event.

Upon relocating to Melbourne, FL, Rapp formed Pearls Before Swine in 1965, recruiting high school friends Wayne Harley, Lane Lederer and Roger Crissinger to record a demo which he then sent to the ESP-Disk label. The company quickly signed the group, and they soon travelled to New York to record their superb 1967 debut One Nation Underground, which went on to sell some 250,000 copies.

The explicitly anti-war Balaklava, widely regarded as Pearls Before Swine's finest work, followed in 1968; the group -- by this time essentially comprising Rapp and whoever else was in the studio at the moment -- moved to Reprise for 1969's These Things Too, mounting their first-ever tour in the wake of releasing The Use of Ashes a year later. Two more albums, City of Gold and Beautiful Lies You Could Live In, followed in 1971; moving to Blue Thumb, Rapp resurfaced as a solo artist with 1972's Stardancer, but upon the release of Sunforest a year later he then retired from music, subsequently becoming a civil rights attorney.

Frequently cited as a key influence by the likes of Damon & Naomi, the Bevis Frond and the Japanese psych band Ghost, Rapp made an unexpected return to live performance in mid-1998 when he appeared at the Terrastock festival in Providence, RI, joining son Dave and his indie-pop band Shy Camp; he soon began work on 1999's A Journal of the Plague Year, his first new LP in over two decades. Constructive Melancholy, a retrospective of Pearls Before Swine's tenure on Reprise, also appeared that same year.

This sparked renewed interest in the band, with Water music releasing a box set of the Reprise material in 2003 (Jewels Were the Stars) as well as a set of unreleased demo and live recordings entitled he Wizard of Is. ESP also remastered and combined their first two albums as The Complete ESP-Disk Recordings in 2005.

by Jason Ankeny


Sorry to disappoint those in hopes of contacting Tom Rapp himself.

This is not he and I do not have any direct contact with the man himself but all comments are encouraged. Some believe that energy is infinite and can be felt/delivered through out the cosmos and can eventually reach the wanted destination in time despite a lack of coordination (assuming objects don't actually move parallel except in a mathmatically ideal universe). I don't condone nor discourage such beliefs.

The universe is a free one (governed by it's four universal forces).

E=mc². The universe is larger than our earth minds can really grasp and the speed of light (even squared) is relatively inefficient when speeking universal travel. However our chances are directly proportional to our output in energy. Keep the love increase the probability. Simple statistics. So don't loose faith. XOXO- JD

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