Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Tactics of a Bully

A bully attacks a person who is perceived as weak. Or a bully may just lash out at whoever is close and convenient. Or a bully may be so used to nobody ever defending themselves or fighting back that they just see everyone as a potential target.

You are expected to submit to the bully.

When you defend yourself or retaliate, the bully, who is taken off guard and wasn't expecting that, will try to turn the tables on you. Suddenly, he acts like YOU are the aggressor. You are critical, judgmental, verbose, needlessly making things complicated. 

You should not have even responded. You should have just submitted in silence or said, "Yes sir, I shall obey, I am sorry to have done that."

Even explaining yourself is looked upon as stubborn resistance, defiance, unnecessary complexity. A bully doesn't want to hear any clarification, or explanation of your action, they want to rip on you and intimidate you into submission.

If your response is intelligent, thorough, reasonable, that is intolerable to the bully. There's no way the bully is going to apologize, meet you half way, or let you off the hook. 

How dare you defend yourself? You've got a lot of nerve trying to put the bully in his place. You are an idiot, a jerk, a person who is impossible to work with. Your explanation or defense was uncalled for and ridiculous.

These bullying types are insecure. Their goal is to dominate through the application of force. When they run into a confident, combative, or argumentative person, they freak out. 

Even though they are the one who started the fight, they desperately, in exasperation, attempt to make you look like the aggressor for defending yourself.

Have you ever experienced these classic tactics of a bully or a person who, if you don't want to label them a "bully," is in the habit of attacking, censoring, or criticizing others in a hypocritical, hostile, or nonsensical manner?

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