Friday, March 22, 2013

Blenderhead Jordan Cooper the Tech Stupidity Destroyer

Jordan Cooper. Harsh language at times, but very smart analysis. He's pretty good at exposing stupidity in the corporate, media, entertainment, and technology sectors. 

I'm a Blenderhead fan for sure. Agree or disagree, your mind will be sharper when you encounter his.

UPDATE: Here's my BlogTalkRadio interview with Jordan Cooper on Vaspers Advanced Technology Show.


* Is the new Myspace just a really ingenious advertising ploy to promote Justin Timberlake’s career?

* The real reason you’re not on Facebook anymore has nothing to do with privacy or data, it’s because you don’t have any friends.

* Go to any small business owner with your new-fangled application and most will respond the same exact way. “F*** the tools. Just do it for me.”

* Give these small businesses as much information and as easy-to-use applications as you’d like, it still won’t make a dent. Nothing will make up for the physical time and effort needed to actually utilize it.

* Small businesses don’t want your software. They want you.
Yes, it’s not scalable. Yes, it’s not replicable. But it’s what they need.

* Google Glass and smart watches will run into the same societal issues as bluetooth earpieces ... wearable technology is not about style or design but how others are disturbed by it, and none will be successful when its usage makes you look like a crazy person.

* The notion of having a so-called “right” to appear in Facebook news feeds is based upon a false assumption that everyone who subscribes to your updates (or “likes” your page) actually gives a f*** about everything you post. Get it through your ego-maniacal heads already. They don’t.

* Groupon was built and operates like a Ponzi scheme.

* The only reason anyone publicly complains about getting too much e-mail or celebrates “inbox zero” is just to show others how incredibly important and busy they are.

* Facebook is losing popularity with teens due to social media’s inherent cycle of narcissism and depression.

* The hypocrisy of so-called data-driven marketers who cherry-pick metrics as proof at their own convenience.

* RSS never caught on in the mainstream because it requires people to do something they’re not used to – thinking for themselves.

* Practically none of the folks I know in tech-geek circles are on Facebook anymore. Some have even jumped off of Twitter after their developer API crackdowns and media-centric focus. Tumblr is thought pretty much as a haven for memes and immature nonsense. Pinterest is pointless and full of bored housewives. Instagram is just a bunch of horrible wannabe photographers.

Some have even sworn off Google for search engines like Blekko and DuckDuckGo on the notion the Mountain View company has betrayed their “don’t be evil” mission statement. In all these instances, they’re jumping off the ship at the same time the entire world is coming aboard.

* We have plenty of companies these days banning Facebook at work, yet the same exact ones installing software like Yammer or Salesforce Chatter which mimic the very same user experience. If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

* Companies are primarily sold by these social business software firms on the fact that having a familiar interface will increase employee adoption and usage, but with functionality that supposedly “empowers the enterprise”.

From what I’ve seen however, these are essentially tacked-on features, none of which are intuitive or work too well individually, but as an aggregate look like an impressive suite to chief executives (who of course, in sweet irony, won’t be the ones actually using it anyways).

* You’re talking about folks who operate at glacial speeds, where it takes countless meetings to decide on some of the most minimal, unimportant things. Social business software purchases will continue to thrive in environments where the corporate culture rewards looking good over being good.


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