Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Loneliness is Better Than a Bad Relationship

When you start feeling sorry for yourself about not having a romantic relationship, remember that there is something worse than being lonely. It is infinitely worse to be trapped in a bad relationship.

No relationship is way better than a miserable or abusive relationship.

Everybody else seems happier than you -- but it doesn't take much poking around to burst that illusory bubble. If you could see through the charades and veneers, you'd see a very different reality in many cases.

If you have acquired the supernatural power of enjoying solitude and silence, the single and contemplative life, consider yourself very blessed indeed.

With the advent of social media, many people now think they HAVE to be connected and socializing all the time. Everywhere they go, they have to be constantly texting or talking to somebody on a cell phone.

They spend so much time interacting with others, they may not interact with themselves at all. Introspection, self-communion, and self-awareness wither and die. They are empty shells communicating with other empty shells. Everything is external. Nothing genuine or unique is happening inside them. They are just a constellation of cravings and moods, nothing more.

While "the kingdom of God is within you" is bypassed in favor of "the kingdom of society is outside you", do people even suspect that they've become tangible ghosts?

The inner dialogue, discussing yourself with yourself, is a lost art. Self-examination, soul evaluation, knowing who you are as a separate person -- this is replaced by placement in a peer group, position within a cultural milieu. Independent thinking gives way to group think and enforced conformity.

You may feel like a failure because you're not married, or you never had any children. Having rotten children is much worse than having no children. What you now consider a wretchedness may actually be a tremendous advantage, if you look at it from a different perspective.

Someone said that they cry when they see an old man eating alone in a restaurant. I cry more when I see an old couple at a restaurant who have nothing to say to each other and are obviously just enduring the relationship, waiting for death to set them free.

Our culture glamorizes romance, relationships, parenting, and the mythical "normal family" -- and tends to stigmatize single living and being alone.

But for some deeply spiritual and highly intelligent people, going off into a hermitage to live in solitude and silence was a preferred lifestyle that they never regretted.

To be human encompasses a wide range of lifestyles. Don't be deluded into thinking you're lacking something because your lifestyle isn't the one glamorized by Hollywood or the media.

Remember that "drama queen" is a term used to describe someone who is so empty inside, they thrive on the turmoil of their relationships and secretly enjoy complaining to everybody about how much trouble they're having.

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